Bit of advice. Long post

[Anonymous]

#4753

Hi all I'm a newbie here and just after some advice really. My dd is 3 next month for the last 6 months me and family members have noticed a few things that have concerned us. I'll list a few…*refusing to talk to anyone but me, her dad, nan,grandad and uncle.*not give eye contact/facial expressions to others *only eating from a certain plate*only have 15 foods she will eat or touch*playing games in a repetive way*having to drive certain ways to certain places *toothpaste lid being but on a specific place while teeth brushed*not playing with other children *only accepting affection on her terms*can't have change to her routines *noises such as hoover, sneezing or coughing lead to a melt down*happily going swimming or soft play until others are around and then wanting to leave or sit alone*not coping with any change ie just recently we had a new fire put in which resulted in a meltdown for several hours. The list goes on.I took my concerns to the gp and they have said they want to refer her for autism test etc. Autism is in both sides of her family so I wasn't surprised they wanted to do this. My problem came today when after speaking to her nursary about my concerns yesterday I was taken to the side and told there is nothing wrong with her she is just shy! They think I should go on a parenting course as it's just behavioral. They told me she was observed for 15 mins and she was joining in and walking around. I said was she joining in or was she just standing on the outskirts of everyone. They couldn't answer. They also noted that she was tearful. I asked y she was crying, No1 could tell me! They then said she's happy hear. I said but she's crying and u have no idea y. No1 asked her so how are u able to tell me she's happy. While this conversation was going on I was observing her playing and moving away from things as other ppl came close to her. They totally dismissed this. I'm just wondering really if other ppl think my concerns are founded amd how I should now approach the nursary. She goes for 3 morning a week and she started last September as I wanted her to mix with other children as I had noticed her tendency to be by herself. Now I'm wondering if I should leave her there or not. They asked me how I dealt with her when she had a melt down if something had changed in her routine and I said I tried to comfort her as she's clearly distressed by it. They think that's the wrong way to go about it and she is just being naughty. I can't see that myself but I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed by there responses to things really. They also told me she won't be diagnosed till she's 5 so y do I want a diagnosis Thanks for reading

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