Doctor, I keep thinking i'm a cowboy!How long have you felt like that for?About a Yearrrrrrrr-Arrrrrree.....!My wife divorced me on religeous grounds.....She was Jewish and said I was a Fat Pig...!Drink killed my last wife.....!I come home drunk one night and shot her...!Thieves broke into a warehouse at Heathrow yesterday and stole 3 pallets of Viagra,Police are now looking for a gang of hardened criminals....!
A man working with an electric saw accidentally cuts off all of his fingers. At the emergency room, his doctor says, “Give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do.”The injured man repies, "But I don't have the fingers!""Why didn't you bring them?" the doctor asks.The injured man responds, "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."