my son

This topic contains 7 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  Anonymous 8 years, 1 month ago.

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  • #3675

    Anonymous

    Note: SFTAH transferred this from old data base when site was updated, thus date and name lost, all dates 2006 & 2007 changed during changeover to odd dates.my son is 3 and a half and probably over the last 12 months i have realised he was not developing as he should espeically as my younger daughter was speaking and using the potty. He has been referred to a paediatrician and they have acknowledged there is something but seem loathed to do anything at this stage. i am worried about leaving it too long. He doesnt like looking in people's eyes. He doesnt comunicate when he needs the toilet. He doesnt play with his peers. he does say some words but not sentences. I feel like i dont know what to do next. i want to do my best for him, but obviously am not an expert. weve started him on omega fish oils to see whether that helps. any advice would be gratefully received. john

    #4806

    Anonymous

    Hi John, my very strong advice is not to wait for the professionals. I waited a year for a diagnosis and when it came they essentially just said – “he is autistic, take him home and try to come to terms with it”. The fish oils are a really good idea as they are especially good for speech delay. Spend as much time as you can researching the various treatments and therapies that are out there and try to be assertive with those operating the systems of support as they are all so over stretched that sadly only those shouting loudest get help. I have used biomedical for me son and that has helped him but other choose different approaches like ABA and son-rise and others. Have a look at http://www.generationrescue re biomedical and do a google search for others ( gfcf diet, ABA, Son-rise, apraxia, TEECH). Your son may just need to catch up with his peers, may have a slight developmental delay or it could of course be autism. It is very very hard to recover from the shock that a diagnosis of autism brings but please believe me that your son remains your son and your love will remain untainted by whatever news you ultimately receive. I treat my son because it helps him to progress and mix with us more and he is 100% happier than he was before i started. But i am helping him not trying to change him. He s a beautiful boy and he is a bery happy loving presence in our lives. So I guess i am saying research and research and choose a path for your son to follow, mainstream school and NHS treatment or choose the alternative approaches that many parents are following, but try and reach a place where you continue to see him as your boy and not ( as I did for a while) a bundle of symptoms and behaviours. Good luck , and please mailme if you need anything ( MONXYMOO@aol.com) – I hope you and your family have a peaceful christmas Regards Deborah

    #4805

    Anonymous

    Hi John

    DONT WAIT!!

    I “didnt wait” with my daughter. I pushed for assessments and referrals every step of the way (I dont think anyone understands what a mine field and how full of red tape special needs is), i frequently wondered if i was a neurotic mother out to prove her daughter had autism. I worried that the clinicians couldnt see what i saw. 3 times i have been told my daughter is not on the spectrum and only 10 weeks ago her psychiatrist told me not only does she not have autism – she showed no signs.

    RUBBISH – i was staggered. I’d given the clinicians pages of odd behaiour that worried me!! So i demanded an ADOS test (autistic diagnostic observational schedule test). Last week the same psychiatrist told me – not only does my dgtr have autism, she has it quite severely!

    My daughter is 10.5, and i first thought she had autism when she was 18 months old. So our journey has taken 9 years – quite staggering really!!

    Dont wait – if the clinicians are unsure but you’re not – then you need to push for answers (to protect your own santity) and to be able to put into practice proven intervention strategies in order to help your son.

    Best wishes- hope all goes well!!

    (PS – (to all)- i haven’t posted on this site for a while – does anyone know why the site has been “hi-jacked” by people posting utter rubbish – or nothing to do with autism??)

    #4807

    Anonymous

    Don’t wait and when they tell you there’s nothing they can do look at http://www.treatingautism.com, http://www.generationrescue.org. http://www.sonrise.org, etc etc

    Very best

    Steph

    #4809

    Anonymous

    Hi John,

    just wanted to say if you are going to search on the internet you will need to look for TEACCH and not TEECH.

    The team i work for uses TEACCH with all the children and families we work with and, if introduced correctly, works really well.

    Good luck

    #4808

    Anonymous

    Hey John,

    I’ve got to echo everybody else: don’t wait. You and your son are in a much better position to sort things out than any expert, in my opinion.

    I’ll be blunt: I copy people, seemingly quite uniquely. It’s just a communication device, to establish sameness, that much I have worked out for myself. I copy body language, speech patterns, voice tonality, the lot. But do you know? Nobody ever mentioned it to me? Funny that, eh? Experts are a funny lot, and one must question their motives, sometimes.

    Try asking the most obvious questions. Questions like “will you talk to me?”, “will you tell me what the matter is?”, “how are you feeling?”. In fact, start a monologue, if he won’t respond straight away, using the same tonality that you might use with a mate, down the pub. In short, treat him as an equal. I imagine he will be so surprised that he’ll have no choice but to look at you.

    Don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t work straight away. First, you’re trying something different, which you have to get used to yourself. Second, he’s had three years’ practise at his current behaviour, and might take a little while to realize that something else is expected of him. If you feel stupid, don’t worry, just imagine how he feels. And trust me, allowing someone to think they’re stupid is the most disempowering thing you can do for them.

    Best regards

    Radagast

    quote:


    Originally posted by sftah
    my son is 3 and a half and probably over the last 12 months i have realised he was not developing as he should espeically as my younger daughter was speaking and using the potty. He has been referred to a paediatrician and they have acknowledged there is something but seem loathed to do anything at this stage. i am worried about leaving it too long. He doesnt like looking in people's eyes. He doesnt comunicate when he needs the toilet. He doesnt play with his peers. he does say some words but not sentences.

    I feel like i dont know what to do next. i want to do my best for him, but obviously am not an expert. weve started him on omega fish oils to see whether that helps.

    any advice would be gratefully received.

    john


    #4810

    Anonymous
    #4811

    Anonymous

    I'm so sorry.I think you should take your son to get a formal diagnosis. 3 year old is enough for a diagnosis. How to recognize autism in children early:http://www.autism-world.com/index.php/2008/04/04/how-to-recognize-autism-in-children-early/

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